Sigh

A couple of weeks ago the assistant director at work announced she was going to be a grandmother.  Whoopee. 

Maybe if her daughter was married I would show a little excitement.  Maybe if her daughter wasn’t all of 22 I could feel happy for her.  Maybe if I didn’t lose my baby in February I would congratulate her and mean it.

I just couldn’t muster any excitement whatsoever when she told me.  I tried to be happy for her but it just wasn’t happening.  My wounds were just too fresh.

Yesterday (or maybe on Sunday) she causes a car accident and has to be taken to the hospital to be checked out.  Everything was fine but they wanted to make sure.  All sorts of awful feelings are bubbling to the surface.  Why does she get to keep her baby after being in a car accident (she caused nonetheless!) and I did everything in my power to do right and my baby was ripped from me?  I just don’t get it.

And what’s worse is that her mother (the lady I work with) WON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT HER PREGNANT DAUGHTER!  She was behind our class in the hall talking on her cell phone to someone about the whole car accident thing and began to tell this person about how she was so glad that the boyfriend got to hear the heartbeat at the hospital.  Seeing as how I never got to hear my baby’s heartbeat I couldn’t stomach one more word, so I started singing.  At least there were kids around me so I didn’t seem too crazy.  Plus, I didn’t hear any more of her conversation.  Problem solved.

So if you ever find yourself wanting to drown out someone else’s conversation I totally recommend this song:

Green Jellybeans

1 green jellybean

Down in my belly-bean

Giving me a tummy ache

What am I gonna take?

All my friends are telling me

They’ve got the remedy:

Don’t eat the green ones

and pat your head! (or any action you choose)

~Keep counting jelly beans and adding new actions each time.  My two year old class love this song!~ 

 

Warning:  This song WILL get stuck in your head.

We had just finished singing it to the residents at the old folks home next door and it was the only song I could think of.  Needless to say, I’ve been singing it all day long.