Sunday, May 11, 2008

Just another day for me

Hello, My Love,

Yet another Mother's Day gone by and I am not your mother yet. I kept myself busy and my mind from wandering by working all day. Of course it didn't help being surrounded by moms with their babies or soon to be moms. I'll keep this short since I should be in bed. I just want you to know that I am so very ready for you. I've been ready for you for quite some time now. I want you more than anything in this world and I won't stop until you are safe in my arms.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

And the results are in...

Hello, My Love,

You seem so far off in the distance to me now. So far out of my reach. I'm beginning to wonder if any part of my motherhood dream will ever come true. We got the results back from your father's sperm analysis and it wasn't good. He has a low sperm count. I don't know if this is something that can be helped or not. If not then I don't know where we go from here. Do we keep trying naturally? Should we even bother? Even though he is the one with the issue I still feel like the failure. I don't know how much willpower I have left in me to continue being let down. I'm ready for the next step but I'll need to prepare mentally for the possibility of being let down again.