Better late than never

So, I meant to do a post about my perinatologist's appointment a few weeks ago. Whoops. Everything was fine. They did an ultrasound (including a 4D one as well...creepy, but cool!) to measure the nuchal fold on the back of the baby's neck. They tried an abdominal ultrasound at first, but the baby was head down and she couldn't get a view of the back of the neck. So, a vaginal ultrasound was done instead. I think the vaginal ultrasound is clearer anyways so I was happy to oblige. She had no trouble getting several measurements that way. She said that a measurement over 2.0 (mm, I'm assuming) would be an indicator of Down's Syndrome and all three measurements she took were under. They also took some blood to run more tests for Down's Syndrome. They called me last week to tell me that my chances of having a baby born with Down's Syndrome when I walked into my appointment were about 1 in 400 but after the ultrasound and the bloodwork my chances were now 1 in 6,000 or so. Insert sigh of relief here.

Courtney was able to come with me for the appointment so he took a couple of videos of the ultrasound. This first video is of the abdominal ultrasound. You can kind of see it squirming around in there. I think it looks like a shrimp in this video. :)


12 weeks 2 days (but I measured 12 weeks 4 days)

This video shows some of the 4D ultrasound. You can hear the tech saying that a part of the placenta was right over the baby's head so either it blocks it or when she moves it she loses part of the head. So, the baby does indeed have a fully intact head. This was the vaginal ultrasound and I think there is a huge difference from the other one.

We got a bunch of pictures from this appointment but the best one was this one:

It's a picture of a picture, so it's a little blurry...sorry!

A couple people said it looks like the baby is giving a peace sign or a thumbs up but I have different opinion. Do you remember the show "The Kids in the Hall?"

Loved that show. Anyway, there was a sketch on that show about a guy who crushed people's heads with his thumb and forefinger.

My baby is going to be a head crusher.

Control

Much like Janet Jackson....

I'm in control.

I went to my endocrinologist today and my A1c was 5.8%. This is the best control I've had over my diabetes ever. To the laymen out there the A1c is a blood test used to determine the average blood sugar levels over a three month (or so) period. The normal range (according to Wikipedia) is 4% to 5.9%. I'm normal? Who knew!

My doctor considers her diabetic patients to be "controlled" when their A1c is 7% or less. Before getting my new pump (with the continuous glucose monitor) my A1c was 7.2%. A few weeks after getting it and using it it was 6.8%. I've had it now for about 3 months and my A1c has dropped down a full percentage point. I gave myself a little pat on the back. Not too shabby.

Next up....sonogram on the 28th!

Final bloodwork numbers are in...

1321!!!

So far so good! My first ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday, October 13th at 9:30 am. Courtney will be able to go and I am crossing everything that a beautiful heartbeat will be at least visible if not audible. I am bringing my camera (which has video, too) with me and am really hoping they will let me use it.

In the meantime I am getting bloodwork done next week for my endocrinologist regarding my thyroid and then I have an appointment with her on October 19th which was already scheduled but happened to work out perfectly because she told me she wants to know the second I find out I was pregnant, which I did...well maybe not the second I found out but soon after. She wanted to ensure my blood sugar was doing ok. I mentioned that I've been having some big spikes after eating and she had me change some settings on my pump, which has helped. At that point I had already cut out heavy carbs from my diet and tried to eat more meat (chicken and turkey...I don't eat red meat or pork) and veggies so that helped, too.

I also have two more pregnancy tests at home to help keep my sanity over the next two weeks.

Repeat bloodwork

I got my results back from today's repeat bloodwork and my number was 383. So far so good! I go back on Monday for another round of bloodwork (last one I think) and then she said we would do a sonogram when I was 6.5 weeks along which would be the second week of October. I don't know if we'll be able to hear a heartbeat at that point but we should hopefully be able to see it flickering. Something we didn't get to see last time.

Oh, and I'm 4 weeks today!

And the news is.....

Good!

I was told that they look for hcg levels to be around 100 and mine was 178. I am beyond happy right now. I go back for more bloodwork on Friday and am to continue on the progesterone supplements. I am having a hard time putting sentences together right now so I'll leave it here. :)

Pins and needles

The blood has been drawn and now I wait. And wait. And wait.

I can't find enough things to do to keep me distracted. This day will go down in history as the longest day ever.

Green light

I had my first monitoring appointment this morning to check my follicles. I thought the tech said she saw four. Not positive. We tentatively set up our appointment time for the IUI on Wednesday for 11 AM with a 9 AM drop off time for the "sample." I would take the Ovidrel trigger shot tonight (took the Bravelle shot on Saturday...no different than an insulin shot) as well as have "intercourse" and then tomorrow would be a free day. We just had to wait for the confirmation call from the doctor saying we were cleared to go ahead with the IUI.

We got the call!

She mentioned me having three mature follicles, measuring 18 mm (I think it's mm...), 21 mm and 24 mm. Maybe I have four but the fourth one wasn't "mature?" Who knows. So, as planned, we will "clear the pipes" tonight and rest tomorrow and be ready to go on Wednesday. I'm feeling good about this. Really good. All the signs seem to say this is right and it will work. I forgot to ask when I would be able to test but it should fall around the due date I had for my first pregnancy. I'm going to take that as a good sign.

This is happening. This is finally happening.

Verdict

We have been sentenced to IVF.

I called my nurse yesterday morning to see if my second bloodwork and my husband's semen analysis results had come in. They had. My bloodwork was fine and was given the OK to go ahead with a pregnancy but my husband's semen analysis was not good. Low count, low motility and only 3% were formed correctly. The doctor had made a note that IVF was recommended. We go back for another follow up appointment on Tuesday July 6th at 8:00 am. I'm guessing we'll discuss what the steps are for IVF and what to expect.

All I know is that we can't afford it. They do offer financing but even with that comes monthly payments which would really stretch our already limited funds. On a happier note, I got a promotion at work. I am now the Assistant Director. I don't know what the new pay is but I know it's not going to be too much more than what I'm making now. I am still working my part time job at the baby superstore and I'm hoping to use my paycheck from there (which is really just extra money to put towards bills or to get my hair or nails done) and save it to put towards the IVF since my insurance doesn't cover any of it. Hopefully our appointment on the 6th will ease some of our stress about money. Probably not but a girl can hope, can't she?

Losing weight

I've lost some weight recently.

Not so much weight off my belly or thighs (although I did lose some off my belly and thighs, too) but off my shoulders.

It's been a whirlwind of doctor's appointments lately but I had the best one yesterday. I went to see a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist to discuss my diabetes and how it would/could affect pregnancy. During my appointment the nurse mentioned that she believes that my insurance now covers continuous glucose monitors. I seriously wanted to hug this woman. I had checked with my insurance before about this and at that point they didn't cover it. I was over the moon estatic hearing this news. She said that she would call the Medtronic rep and take care of everything for me and that I should hear something by today.

I just got off the phone with a lady from Medtronic and I am 100% covered! I'm so giddy I can't even contain myself! I get a new insulin pump and the continuous glucose monitor is built into it. I just need to wear a sensor on my stomach. I had a choice of 5 colors: clear, blue, smoke, purple (which I have currently) and pink. I chose pink. They just have to obtain authorization from my insurance and then it will be mailed to me. I'll have to get some training on how to use it but it shouldn't be too hard. ]

This is what it looks like (except it will be bubble gum pink!):

This little device will be such a weight off my shoulders. When (notice how I used when and not if) I get pregnant again I will feel more confident about my control. This is perfect timing because it looks as if we will be going to be doing an IUI next cycle.

I had my initial visit with the RE and then went in for my Day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound this past Saturday. I had a mock embryo transfer (to measure the angle and depth of my cervix and uterus and the thickness of my uterine lining) today as well as some more bloodwork because my prolactin was a little elevated and my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was just above normal and they really want that to be perfect. They said that they just wanted to test it again to see if it was just a fluke or if we need to address it. I'm hoping it was a fluke. But if not it shouldn't be difficult to correct. Courtney is doing his semen analysis on Friday and I believe that is the extent of our appointments for now. We just have to wait and see what the results are.

Frustration

Hello, My Love,

Boodwork and sonogram? Done.

HSG? Done.

Semen Analysis? Done. Well, it will be this Friday.

We're moving forward, and for that I am grateful. Our follow up appointment with the fertility clinic will have to wait until after my new insurance starts on the 1st. I'm pretty sure I'll have to go through all the hoops again to get authorization again. Sigh.

The HSG wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was a lot like a annual exam but when they put the iodine dye inside me it felt like menstrual cramps. Not too terrible. Plus it only took a few minutes and they were done. It was neat to see the dye go through my uterus and tubes. There were no blockages, which is good news, I guess. I kind of feel like the appointment (and in turn all the money I'm going to shell out for it) was a waste since I was all clear. That is some EXPENSIVE peace (or is it piece?) of mind.

My bloodwork and sonogram were also completely normal, so again, I feel like it was a waste. It's almost like I want something to be wrong, so that it can be fixed. If your dad's SA comes back normal this time then I'm not sure what's going on. It's all so FRUSTRATING!!!!! I just want some friggin' answers!

And the results are in...

Hello, My Love,

You seem so far off in the distance to me now. So far out of my reach. I'm beginning to wonder if any part of my motherhood dream will ever come true. We got the results back from your father's sperm analysis and it wasn't good. He has a low sperm count. I don't know if this is something that can be helped or not. If not then I don't know where we go from here. Do we keep trying naturally? Should we even bother? Even though he is the one with the issue I still feel like the failure. I don't know how much willpower I have left in me to continue being let down. I'm ready for the next step but I'll need to prepare mentally for the possibility of being let down again.

The big day

Hello, My Love,

Thinking about you hardcore today. Today is the big appointment. I'm sure there will be many more important ones after today but this is the first big hurdle. I hope he'll have the results from my bloodwork (I have them and they were normal) as well as the results from my ultrasound (haven't heard about that yet). I'm bringing all my charts and my list of questions. I'm anxious and can't get any work done. I think I will take myself out to lunch before the appointment. Cheesecake Factory sounds really yummy right now. I don't have to work at baby superstore tonight so after the appointment I'm going home to catch up on American Idol. I've managed to avoid hearing who got kicked off so far so it will still be a surprise for me. And Survivor and a new episode of Lost is on tonight so all in all it will be a good afternoon depsite what the doctor says.

I'm starting to come to terms with being infertile. I'll never be happy about it in any way, shape or form but adoption is something I've always wanted to do regardless of whether or not I could get pregnant. So if it comes down to IVF or adoption I would choose adoption hands down. For one, I'm not sure if my insurance would cover the cost of IVF. Second, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the procedure. It seems so forced. Not natural. I'd have to do some serious soul searching about it. Plus, there is no guarantee it will ever work. I would rather spend that money on adoption where you know you will eventually end up with a child. Just know that no matter how we come together we were always meant to be.

Twice in one day? Insane!

So, I completely forgot to put an update about where we stand as far as getting pregnant goes. It totally thought last month was it but it was not. This month I started charting my temperature and using OPK (ovulation predictor kit). As of yet I have not ovulated but it should be any day now. I am trying to time the baby-making just right. There are several different points of view on how often to "do it." Some say every other day. Some say every day. If the man has a lower sperm count you should go every other day so that they have a chance to regenerate. Seeing how Courtney has not had his "boys" tested we don't have an answer to that question. If this month doesn't work then I think we both need to get the ball rolling on getting tests done to find out why nothing has happened in going on two years.

I did hear back from my doctor about some follow up bloodwork I had done for my thyroid. After 2 months on the medication they prescribed me I am now "normal." Good to know. I haven't lost any weight nor do I feel less tired so I am not seeing any kind of difference since I started the medication. Other than the fact that I'm "normal."

I came across this blog http://www.confessionsofacfhusband.com/ a few weeks ago and it is an amazing blog. I absolutely recommend it to anyone who has half a brain or half a heart. It's a sweet, young couple. The wife has cystic fibrosis and they unexpectedly got pregnant as she was about to go on a transplant list for new lungs. They stuck with the pregnancy, gave birth to a micro-preemie at 24 weeks, I believe. The husband updates the blog several times a day and is such a wonderful husband and father. It is inspiring to read about their lives. As I've said before, I'm not religious and don't believe in god but I do admire and respect those that TRULY believe and live their lives accordingly. And this guy does. Plus he's got a sense of humor. He's a saint if I ever saw one.

Another year bites the dust....

Well, it's now 2008 and hopefully something fruitful will come out of this year. I received somewhat good news from the doctor. She said that I have an under active thyroid. Basically it means that my thyroid gland is under producing a hormone that is sent to my brain which in turn overproduces another hormone to compensate. This is the main reason I'm always tired and have gained some weight over the last year. She said it really shouldn't affect the chances of getting pregnant but that if I was to become pregnant it would be important to stay on the medicine she prescribed me so that the baby doesn't develop a thyroid problem. So I've been on the medicine for almost a month now and I have to go back for more blood work in a few weeks. I haven't' really noticed a difference in anything yet but she said it would take about a month for it to work it's way in to my system.

Courtney and I are going to Mexico to visit his parents in two weeks and I was hoping to drop 20 pounds by then, but no such luck. Hey, a girl can dream, can't she? Oh well. We'll still have a great time. We haven't had a real vacation since our honeymoon over two years ago. This will be a much welcomed and needed week. We haven't seen his mom since we moved back to MD two years ago although we have seen his step dad a few times when he was in MD for work. It'll be nice to catch up with them. Plus our friends and their son will be there and we haven't seen them since she was pregnant so that will be an added bonus. I know Courtney misses his family and friends and the whole San Francisco scene but I think he's happy here in MD. I know how he feels though. I moved away from my friends and family when I moved to CA to be with him. Maybe one day we will move back but the reason he wanted to move us here was so that we would be close to my family when we started our own family. What a sweetheart. Hopefully we don't have to wait much longer for that.

As far as trying to get pregnant, we are taking this month off. I just signed up for Aflac at work and enrolled in their short term disability insurance so that I will still get 60% of my pay when I go on maternity leave. The only catch is that you have to have the insurance for 10 months before they will give maternity benefits. So we start trying again in February and if successful, hope for a full term pregnancy. I just don't know how I would afford to be off work for 6 weeks without pay. I like to plan ahead if I can.

Courtney got a bonus from work (finally!) so we treated ourselves to a new TV. We haven't had a new anything other than our bed and mattress set a few years back. We usually take hand me downs from family so this was really nice. We bought a 37 inch flat screen HDTV television and it is NICE! We watched Pirates of the Caribbean 3 on it last night and it was AWESOME! If we could just get a new couch.....