Decisions, Decisions

Our follow up appointment was this morning. It was devestational to say the least. We walked out of there feeling completely hopeless. How in the hell can we ever afford this? IVF with ICSI will cost $11,000. But that doesn't include medication. And medication starts at $4,500.

Yes, starts at.

It could cost as much as $7,500. So we are talking about paying almost $20,000. We don't have $11,000, much less $20,000. And of course, my insurance (or my husband's) doesn't cover a dime. There are a few options for us though.

They have a shared help thingy (I think it's kind of like a scholarship/grant type thing) but I have to see if we qualify. We might make too much money. But with Courtney being laid off for 6 months last year we may qualify after all. That could help out from 10%-50%. Plus they offer financing. My parents, Courtney's mom, and my aunt have all offered to help out financially and as much as I HATE to ask for money from anyone, we may have to do just that. Even if it isn't enough for the entire procedure, we could always finance the rest. Plus, I've been looking into other types of financing online that is specific to IVF.

Dammit, we will find a way.

I forgot to ask about the possibility of doing an IUI. I called on my lunch break and left a message with my nurse about doing it but haven't heard back yet. I think we may try to increase Courtney's sperm count with accupuncture, vitamins and diet/exercise and then try an IUI in a few months. I've also brought up adoption. The cost may end up being the same as IVF but with IVF if it doesn't work then we are out all that money with nothing to show for it. With adoption we may have to wait longer but in the end we will have a child. Ugh. So many things to consider.

Verdict

We have been sentenced to IVF.

I called my nurse yesterday morning to see if my second bloodwork and my husband's semen analysis results had come in. They had. My bloodwork was fine and was given the OK to go ahead with a pregnancy but my husband's semen analysis was not good. Low count, low motility and only 3% were formed correctly. The doctor had made a note that IVF was recommended. We go back for another follow up appointment on Tuesday July 6th at 8:00 am. I'm guessing we'll discuss what the steps are for IVF and what to expect.

All I know is that we can't afford it. They do offer financing but even with that comes monthly payments which would really stretch our already limited funds. On a happier note, I got a promotion at work. I am now the Assistant Director. I don't know what the new pay is but I know it's not going to be too much more than what I'm making now. I am still working my part time job at the baby superstore and I'm hoping to use my paycheck from there (which is really just extra money to put towards bills or to get my hair or nails done) and save it to put towards the IVF since my insurance doesn't cover any of it. Hopefully our appointment on the 6th will ease some of our stress about money. Probably not but a girl can hope, can't she?

What will $300 get you?

Hello, My Love,

We had our initial consult with the fertility specialist today and it cost us $300. There was some confusion with my insurance so I'm hoping we'll get half of that back. So would you like to know what $300 will get you?

• A 40 minute wait in the waiting room. Our appointment was at 8:30 and they wanted us there 20 minutes early to go over our paperwork. We weren't called back until 8:50.
• A 10 minute wait in the doctor's conference room waiting for the doctor. He came in at 9:00.
• A review of the tests we've already had done. (Basic bloodwork, sonogram and a semen analysis)
• A recommendation to do IVF. I thought he jumped right for IVF without much thought towards other less evasive options. I felt like we were two giant dollar signs in his eyes.
• A plan of action once my period starts.
• The realization that we really can't afford all of this. We could probably get a line of credit but we have enough credit debt already.
• A glimmer of hope. Several times the doctor made reference to me being pregnant in the future. He asked where I would be delivering and wants me to see a high-risk OB/GYN because of my diabetes.
• A Viagra pen!
  

While we were waiting for the doctor to come into the conference room, I got impatient so I started playing with the pens and found a Viagra pen. I figured I earned it.

Overall, I do think the appointment was informative and I do feel we are finally making some forward progress towards getting pregnant but I just wonder if they pitch IVF to every couple who comes there. I hope he was just giving us a worse case scenario. He did go over IUI a little but it felt like the main focus was on IVF using ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection). He wants your dad to do another semen analysis and if it also turns out to be low in count and motility, he suggested the IVF with ICSI. ICSI is basically them putting one single sperm into an egg with a teeny tiny pipette. He also mention with my age and using ICSI with an IVF cycle my chances of getting pregnant would be close to 65% as opposed to around 18% doing IUI.

There is a HUGE price difference between IUI and IVF. My insurance will pay 50% of an IUI and in the end would cost around $500 or $600. IVF is not covered whatsoever and if we did a single try with ICSI it would cost around $12,000 but if we did the Shared Risk 100% Refund Program it would cost around $22,000 but we would be guaranteed a "viable baby" or our money back. Kind of like a lemon law for babies, I guess. We would get 6 cycles of IVF for a fixed fee. If we don't end up with a baby then we get our money back. We would also get our money back if we choose to stop.

After meeting with the doctor we got to meet one of our two nurses. Her name was Beth and she was nice and pretty easy to talk to. She went over what our next steps will be. On day one of my next cycle I am to call the office to schedule an appointment for Day Three bloodwork and ultrasound. On the same day I'm also supposed to call and schedule an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) to see what's going on inside my uterus and fallopian tubes and to check for any blockages. That is supposed to be scheduled for somewhere between days 5 and 10 of my cycle. Your dad needs to get another semen analysis done. Once all these tests are done we will go over the results and move forward from there.

Before I can do ANY of those things I need to call both of our insurance companies to see what I need to get this all sorted out so we don't get stuck with a full bill rather than 50%. In the end though, even after all the time and money and stress this will cost us, you will be worth everything we've had to go through. And even though we haven't even met yet, I can guarantee you I would do it all over again.

The big day

Hello, My Love,

Thinking about you hardcore today. Today is the big appointment. I'm sure there will be many more important ones after today but this is the first big hurdle. I hope he'll have the results from my bloodwork (I have them and they were normal) as well as the results from my ultrasound (haven't heard about that yet). I'm bringing all my charts and my list of questions. I'm anxious and can't get any work done. I think I will take myself out to lunch before the appointment. Cheesecake Factory sounds really yummy right now. I don't have to work at baby superstore tonight so after the appointment I'm going home to catch up on American Idol. I've managed to avoid hearing who got kicked off so far so it will still be a surprise for me. And Survivor and a new episode of Lost is on tonight so all in all it will be a good afternoon depsite what the doctor says.

I'm starting to come to terms with being infertile. I'll never be happy about it in any way, shape or form but adoption is something I've always wanted to do regardless of whether or not I could get pregnant. So if it comes down to IVF or adoption I would choose adoption hands down. For one, I'm not sure if my insurance would cover the cost of IVF. Second, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the procedure. It seems so forced. Not natural. I'd have to do some serious soul searching about it. Plus, there is no guarantee it will ever work. I would rather spend that money on adoption where you know you will eventually end up with a child. Just know that no matter how we come together we were always meant to be.