Monday, October 27, 2008


Hello, My Love,

Boodwork and sonogram? Done.

HSG? Done.

Semen Analysis? Done. Well, it will be this Friday.

We're moving forward, and for that I am grateful. Our follow up appointment with the fertility clinic will have to wait until after my new insurance starts on the 1st. I'm pretty sure I'll have to go through all the hoops again to get authorization again. Sigh.

The HSG wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was a lot like a annual exam but when they put the iodine dye inside me it felt like menstrual cramps. Not too terrible. Plus it only took a few minutes and they were done. It was neat to see the dye go through my uterus and tubes. There were no blockages, which is good news, I guess. I kind of feel like the appointment (and in turn all the money I'm going to shell out for it) was a waste since I was all clear. That is some EXPENSIVE peace (or is it piece?) of mind.

My bloodwork and sonogram were also completely normal, so again, I feel like it was a waste. It's almost like I want something to be wrong, so that it can be fixed. If your dad's SA comes back normal this time then I'm not sure what's going on. It's all so FRUSTRATING!!!!! I just want some friggin' answers!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Let the testing begin!

Hello, My Love,

My period started today and with it a slew of testing shall commence. I had to call the fertility center to let them know my cycle started and to schedule my Day 3 bloodwork and sonogram. I was surprised to see my period start so soon. My cycle was wacky and I'm not so sure I ovulated, which would be a first. Fertility Friend ( didn't show ovulation but I did have the CM (cervical mucus) that says I did and I took a few OPK (ovulation predictors) which showed I did so who knows? This was the first month I used a basal thermometer so maybe that's it. Oh well.

My bloodwork will be done on Friday at 7:15 am and then I also have my HSG scheduled for Monday at 2:30. Your dad is calling to schedule his SA (semen analysis) today or tomorrow so hopefully that will be done soon. I have no idea how we are going to be able to afford all of this testing but somehow, we will. The money aspect of this whole thing has been the biggest stress point for your father.

I started having infertility dreams. I started spotting last night and knowing that I had to call to schedule my testing, I had dreams about it this morning before my alarm went off. In my dream I was at the doctor's office and they were scheduling me for ovulation iduction at some office far away. They were calling it ovulation induction but it was really egg harvesting. It took me a minute to realize that that meant we were doing IVF and that we didn't want to do that yet. Weird dream.

I joined a gym this week. I am going to be 30 (YIKES!) in January and I've decided that I can't change that but I can change how I look. I don't want to get any fatter. So, my goal is to look fabulous by the time I'm 30. I have to get older. I don't have to be fat. Now, I'm doing something about it. I met with a personal trainer (I get three sessions with my membership) and went over my diet, my exercise, my goals, etc. I have my first workout on Friday after work. My trainer was pretty cute, so I'm looking forward to working out...;o) I didn't feel so cute when he was measuring my body fat with those pinchy things though....

Friday, October 10, 2008

What will $300 get you?

Hello, My Love,

We had our initial consult with the fertility specialist today and it cost us $300. There was some confusion with my insurance so I'm hoping we'll get half of that back. So would you like to know what $300 will get you?

  • A 40 minute wait in the waiting room. Our appointment was at 8:30 and they wanted us there 20 minutes early to go over our paperwork. We weren't called back until 8:50.
  • A 10 minute wait in the doctor's conference room waiting for the doctor. He came in at 9:00.
  • A review of the tests we've already had done. (Basic bloodwork, sonogram and a semen analysis)
  • A recommendation to do IVF. I thought he jumped right for IVF without much thought towards other less evasive options. I felt like we were two giant dollar signs in his eyes.
  • A plan of action once my period starts.
  • The realization that we really can't afford all of this. We could probably get a line of credit but we have enough credit debt already.
  • A glimmer of hope. Several times the doctor made reference to me being pregnant in the future. He asked where I would be delivering and wants me to see a high-risk OB/GYN because of my diabetes.
  • A Viagra pen!

While we were waiting for the doctor to come into the conference room, I got impatient so I started playing with the pens and found a Viagra pen. I figured I earned it.

Overall, I do think the appointment was informative and I do feel we are finally making some forward progress towards getting pregnant but I just wonder if they pitch IVF to every couple who comes there. I hope he was just giving us a worse case scenario. He did go over IUI a little but it felt like the main focus was on IVF using ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection). He wants your dad to do another semen analysis and if it also turns out to be low in count and motility, he suggested the IVF with ICSI. ICSI is basically them putting one single sperm into an egg with a teeny tiny pipette. He also mention with my age and using ICSI with an IVF cycle my chances of getting pregnant would be close to 65% as opposed to around 18% doing IUI.

There is a HUGE price difference between IUI and IVF. My insurance will pay 50% of an IUI and in the end would cost around $500 or $600. IVF is not covered whatsoever and if we did a single try with ICSI it would cost around $12,000 but if we did the Shared Risk 100% Refund Program it would cost around $22,000 but we would be guaranteed a "viable baby" or our money back. Kind of like a lemon law for babies, I guess. We would get 6 cycles of IVF for a fixed fee. If we don't end up with a baby then we get our money back. We would also get our money back if we choose to stop.

After meeting with the doctor we got to meet one of our two nurses. Her name was Beth and she was nice and pretty easy to talk to. She went over what our next steps will be. On day one of my next cycle I am to call the office to schedule an appointment for Day Three bloodwork and ultrasound. On the same day I'm also supposed to call and schedule an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) to see what's going on inside my uterus and fallopian tubes and to check for any blockages. That is supposed to be scheduled for somewhere between days 5 and 10 of my cycle. Your dad needs to get another semen analysis done. Once all these tests are done we will go over the results and move forward from there.

Before I can do ANY of those things I need to call both of our insurance companies to see what I need to get this all sorted out so we don't get stuck with a full bill rather than 50%. In the end though, even after all the time and money and stress this will cost us, you will be worth everything we've had to go through. And even though we haven't even met yet, I can guarantee you I would do it all over again.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

It CAN be easy being green!

Hello, My Love,

Your dad and I went to Costco last night to get some dog food and while I was waiting for my pictures to be printed, we walked around to see what they had. I was like a kid in a candy store! I was truly surprised to see how much organic stuff they had! I didn't look at every last thing in the store but the things I saw were:

  • Organic milk - 1% (which is what we drink) We usually get a half gallon of the store brand of organic milk and it usually runs $3.89. Costco had three half gallons for $7.98 (or close to that). Needless to say, we grabbed it!
  • Organic BBQ sauce
  • Organic cereals. I saw some Flax cereal (sorry, but I love my Golden Grahams!) but they also had some granola that was pumpkin flavored that sounded pretty yummy.
  • Organic soups and broths.
  • Organic pop tarts.
  • Organic rice krispy bars.
  • Organic olive oil.
  • Environmentally friendly laundry detergent. I was planning on getting some by Seventh Generations since my food store (Shoppers Food Warehouse) carries it and Seventh Generation's website ( usually has coupons to print out but now I can get it from Costco for cheaper!
  • Environmentally friendly hand soap refill. Babies R Us carries Method ( hand soap dispensers so now we can buy the refill soap!

I know there was more but I'm having a mental block. Anyway, today I went to Rite Aid and found some organic make up. I am currently using an organic tinted moisturizer and I love it. It's never cakey and you can't tell I'm wearing anything. I also have an organic that, too.
Photobucket So, today I bought some organic eye shadow and eyeliner that is made for hazel eyes.

I also found earth friendly make up brushes! I was due for some new ones as I've had the ones I currently use for too long. These new ones are made from bamboo and "cruelty-free hair."
Plus, they were on sale for buy one, get one half off, so I saved some green as well!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Crazy dreams and forward progress

Hello, My Love,

So, occasionally I have some weird dreams but rarely do I remember them past waking up. Well, I know I had a crazy one last night and completely forgot about it until I saw a commercial for Mucinex just now. It has these blobby looking things of snot that talk and walk and move into your lungs...gross, right?

Well, seeing that big blob of snot reminded me of the dream I had. Most of the dream was about a bicycle race with me and your dad against another couple but the part that the commercial reminded me of was when I coughed up a HUGE blob of mucus. It was disgusting. I make slime for the kids at my work using liquid starch and glue and that is what it looked like. I remember holding it in my hands and being grossed out and fascinated at the same time. Weird stuff.

I got my referral in the mail the other day so I called the fertility clinic and made an appointment. We are going in this coming Friday at 8:30 am. They are supposed to mail us some paperwork to fill out which we'll bring with us as well as our previous test results. This first appointment is a basic consultation but it finally feels like we are making some forward progress.