No, I’m not pregnant.

But I’m still having some crazy dreams.  

I’m definitely coming down with something though.  I’ve got a sore throat.  My head hurts and feels like a watermelon.  I have a slight fever.  Basically I just feel like a big steaming pile of poo.  Maybe it’s swine flu.

I left work early to come home and crash, which I actually did for once.  Usually when I say I’ll do that I end up either on the computer or watching tv.  Today I slept.  And slept.  And slept.  And had a weird dream.

I was hanging out with this guy like we were dating.  I remember laying with him on a bed and talking and then kissing.  Then he asks me if I want to screw but I told him I couldn’t because I was having my period.  Which I am so it makes sense.  Then I remember him talking to someone on a video phone and he must have been Philipino or something because he was speaking in some sort of Asian language to this person and the person on the phone looked Asian.  And then his nieces and nephews were running in and out of the house.  The house, by the way, was my ex-boyfriends’.  And then my ex walks in to the house and gets mad that I’m there.  So after awkwardly collecting my things and explaining this to my new “friend” I fast forward to being at work.  Keep in mind that I work in a child care center.  I see my new “friend” walk into one of the classrooms and I ask a co-worker about him and ask how old he is. 

“Oh, him?  He’s 3.”

Great, so now instead of gay sailor James Bond dreams I am now having dreams about making out with 3 year old Philipino boys in my ex-boyfriends’ house.  Wonderful. 

And in my defense, he looked like he was over 18.