So…..

So I realize that it's been about 4 months since I've posted anything and I basically left anyone who doesn't know me in real life (or on facebook) hanging. Sorry! I'd blame it on being a new mom but honestly, I've just been lazy. I know, I know...same old excuse. So rather than just tell you right away if it was a girl or a boy I figure you've waited this long, what's a few more paragraphs?

      Right before we left for the hospital.  I hate that beard.

I was scheduled for induction at 39 weeks on Tuesday May 24th at 7:00 PM. They were to start me on Cytotec (the same drug I took after my miscarriage...you can read about it here) to help soften my cervix. At that point I was not dilated whatsoever, the baby had not descended at all and my cervix was still hard. On Wednesday morning they began the pitocin. I was still planning a natural (as natural as an induced birth could get anyway) birth and had no pain meds at all on Wednesday. LONGEST DAY EVER.

   This is Wednesday morning, before the fun truly began.

That pitocin is a bitch. By the end of the day I had awful back labor so even in between the contractions (which were coming every few minutes) I had horrible back pain. All this for almost no progress. The baby had dropped a little but that was it. I felt so defeated. They took me off the pitocin at 8:00 PM to let me eat and rest for the night. We were going to do it all over again on Thursday with the promise that there would be a baby by the end of the day.

Courtney and I talked about just going forward with a c-section because I was so exhausted and didn't think I could do another day of pain only to end up doing a c-section. We talked to the nurse and doctor and they talked us into going for it. The told us about using stadol for pain relief. In the morning I was rested (somewhat) and had eaten dinner (Chick-fil-A...yummy!) so I felt up for another day of fun. They started the pitocin back up and by 10:00 AM the pain was unbearable. While I went to the bathroom, Courtney called the nurse in to administer the stadol. In the bathroom I saw some blood when I wiped and got a little worried but the nurse said it was normal. I then got on the birthing ball (which helped a lot the day before) and after a few minutes felt like I was bleeding. I pulled myself up a bit and realized it wasn't blood. My water was breaking. Let me tell you, I thought I was peeing myself. Such a weird feeling. It just kept coming and coming. I got off the ball and stood up and it just kept flowing. There is nothing more humbling than standing there with your ass hanging out and what looks like pee going all over the floor. After that, I got back in the bed (with a giant pad under me) and they finally administered the stadol. Now that was some interesting stuff. I felt like I was floating on clouds. But, I was able to rest so I was happy.

The stadol lasted about an hour and a half and I was in need of another dose. The problem was that they could only give it to me every three hours. I powered through the next hour and a half and got the next shot but it just wasn't cutting it. I was miserable and exhausted and defeated because at this point I still had not made any progress. I gave in and got the epidural. I am glad I did. It wasn't what I thought it would be. I thought I would have no feeling at all but I was still able to move my legs and feet but the contractions were no longer painful. After an hour or two they checked my progress and I had dilated to 3 cm. I couldn't believe it. In another couple of hours I was fully dilated and ready to push. It happened so fast I didn't have time to get scared, I just started pushing.

Fast forward to oh...FOUR HOURS LATER and I was still pushing. The head was turned the wrong way and was getting stuck. I was so tired. I tried so hard to push the baby out but it just wasn't happening. They wanted to do a c-section. I agreed. I wasn't happy about it, but I agreed. I felt like such a failure. I was so upset. My natural birth was being taken away from me and there was nothing I could do about it. I was worried about the baby and I was scared to have surgery. The anesthesiologist upped my epidural and they wheeled me off to the surgery room.

They prepped me for a few minutes and before I knew it, they told me to look up. I couldn't get a good look at whether it was a girl or a boy. Finally someone said, "It's a girl!" That's when I lost it. I don't think I have ever cried that hard. A girl. My girl. I had a daughter. I couldn't believe it.

That beautiful (albeit bloody) little creature was mine. The love I felt for her was overwhelming. I don't think I could put into words how I changed in that second. I was a parent. A mother. I had been waiting so long for that moment. All I wanted was to hold her. Instead, I was stuck to the operating table while they stitched me up and cleaned her up. After a few minutes she was finally brought to me all wrapped up in a towel and little hat.

 

Scarlett Roslyn

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And the hair! Oh my goodness, she had a full head of dark brown hair! I know 3 year olds with less hair. I was able to touch her sweet face and kiss her but it would be about an hour or so before I could hold her. Courtney was a good dad and stayed with her every second. She was born at 10:07 PM, weighed 8 pounds 4.5 ounces and was 20 inches long.

She had to be taken to the NICU because her breathing was labored. Of course it was, she was a c-section baby. While there, they checked her blood sugar and it was low so she had to stay. When I was released from the recovery room I was able to be wheeled to the NICU to finally hold my daughter.

She was perfect. Ten fingers and ten toes and just the love of my life. I attempted to breastfeed her but it just wasn't happening. Because of her low blood sugar they gave her formula so she wasn't really hungry and my milk wasn't in anyways. By 1:00 AM Courtney and I were in our own room and missing our girl.

She stayed in the NICU for 2.5 days and we went down to visit/feed every three hours with the exception of the 3 AM feeding so we could get a little sleep.

Her Papa was a pro at changing diapers.

When I got the call from her doctor telling me they were releasing her I was ecstatic. I immediately called Courtney to tell him the good news and he rushed back from lunch with his mom and my mom (who are over the moon about having a granddaughter). We still had to wait a few more hours before she was finally brought up to our room but it was such a happy moment when they rolled her into our room. Our little family was finally all together.

I loved (and still love) having her sleep on my chest.

We were able to leave the hospital the next day. We had checked in Tuesday evening and were there until Monday afternoon. We were so ready to go home.

Wearing the hat I made.  I also made one for a boy but I’ll just hang on to it for future use.

Once there we slowly adapted to life with a newborn. The dogs thought she was a squeaker toy at first because that is what she sounds like when she has the hiccups. After a few days they settled down and were let out of the kitchen once in awhile. Thankfully my mother in law flew out from California to help out for a few weeks. The dogs were spoiled rotten by her. They aren't allowed on the furniture but she let them sleep in the bed with her. They needed the attention so I didn't mind. Now they barely notice the baby. Beaker likes to give her kisses when I let him but other than that they leave her alone.

Skip ahead to now and we have the sweetest 3 month old there ever was! She is such a sweet, happy, alert little girl and I love her more and more each day. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she is mine. I'm back to work full time now and I have her pictures all around me and I can't look at them without smiling the biggest smile.

And because I’ve been a total blogger failure for the last few months, I’ll leave you with some of my favorite pictures of my little peanut because who doesn’t love cute baby pictures?

One week old

First bath…not too happy about it.  She loves them now though!

Two weeks old

Three weeks old

One month old!

First Orioles game

First Fourth of July (she slept through the fireworks)

Smiling at 7 weeks old

Two months old

Getting Beaker kisses while on vacation

11 weeks old

Sushi!

Three months old!

I’ve decided to start a new blog.  A fresh start, if you will.  I hope you’ll follow me over there.  The address is http://www.shewasworthit.blogspot.com.

Sue me, I'm a slacker

Once again, I have no excuse for not blogging lately. I usually have down time at work but just never bother with my blog. I haven't even been writing anything in my pregnancy book since 15 weeks. I have been taking belly pictures to put in there but they are all just sitting on my computer, waiting to be printed. I have been keeping myself busy with a daunting to-do list that seems impossible to complete before the baby comes. I'm still trying to get used to the fact that I will have a baby sometime in the next 5 weeks.

We started birthing classes at the end of February. We are taking a "new and improved" version of the Bradley Method. It's called Brio Birth. It's a 10 week class versus the normal 12 week class that you would do with the Bradley Method. We have our last class next week and then the instructor comes to our house to walk us through laboring at home and how we can use what we have at home to help with that.

Our house is a work in progress right now. We used most of our tax refund to get a few pieces of furniture. We got a new vanity for the bathroom. This one is bigger (to hold more stuff) plus the sink is big enough to bathe the baby in now. We also got a new medicine cabinet thingy to put above it. Again, it's bigger and able to hold more stuff. Now if we could just get a new tub and get rid of the ugly tile in there.... We bought a rolling island for the kitchen and I can't begin to say how much I love it. We have about 2.5 feet of usable counter space for cooking/food prep and to have this island is absolute heaven! Plus it has storage in it so that came in handy. We got a new buffet type cabinet thingy to put near the front door. It has cabinet space in it to store stuff and a shelf to hold mail and paperwork. Finally we bought an armoire for the nursery. Storage is limited in that room so that is holding all the sheets, blankets, pads, bibs, hats, burp cloths and some toys. Plus the record player and records are able to go on top since it's not very high. All of the furniture was stuff we had to put together and it's not high-end by any means but it looks nice for now and we will get our money's worth out of it. I'll have to get some pictures.

My husband had two projects to tackle before the baby comes and he's finished one. We live in a small, two bedroom house and the closets are a decent size but the doors limit the access to them. I'd guess the closets would be about 6 feet long but with a regular door right in the middle. You can't see any of the clothes hanging on either side of the doorway. He's finished widening the doorway (he put in bi-fold doors) in the nursery and has begun the one in our bedroom. Our bedroom is also getting a bigger closet. Our room is adjacent to the kitchen and the kitchen has a nook for the fridge which happens to butt up next to the closet. So, we took the fridge and put it on the opposite wall and will be closing off the nook and expanding the closet into that space. Then I can take all my clothes, which have been in the nursery closet, and put them in there. I'm so anxious for him to finish this. Right now we have an empty closet in our bedroom with the door and framed removed and a big, ugly opening in the kitchen where the fridge used to be. I'm taking a breastfeeding class at the hospital tonight and Courtney said he would be working on the closet tonight. He better.

I've been working my butt off to tackle the to-do list and while I haven't been able to cross off too many things, I have been working on a few things. Slowly but surely wins the race, right? I primed the crib this weekend and have managed to get a few coats on a few pieces. If I can do at least one coat of paint on one piece (it's taking about 3 coats) per night then I think I can get it done in a reasonable time. I just don't seem to have enough free time. Monday nights we have our birthing class. I have a breastfeeding class tonight. This Saturday I have an all day conference for work and a baby shower to go to on Sunday. There is simply not enough time in the day. I also wanted to have some down time to relax before the baby comes but I honestly don't see that happening. We'll see.

People keep asking me if I'm ready to be done being pregnant and I can honestly say that I'm not. And not just because I have too much to do before I'm ready but I'm really enjoying being pregnant. Overall it has been a smooth and easy pregnancy. I had no morning sickness, unless I waited too long to eat, then I would get a little queasy. Or if I ate too much too fast then I would get queasy again. I threw up 4 times total and felt fine afterwards. I was tired during the first trimester and have had heartburn but really nothing to complain about. I'm almost 35 weeks and still fairly comfortable. I can sleep through the night and get up once, maybe twice to pee but there have been nights where I've slept all night long. The baby moves a lot but I haven't had any painful kicks to the ribs or head butts to the bladder. I honestly have no reason to complain. I am ready for another 5 weeks. I need another 5 weeks!

No excuses

I really have no excuse for not blogging lately. Just laziness. I have been taking belly pictures for the past month or so, so I'll have to post them once I actually upload them to my computer from my camera....for which I need to charge the battery. Also on that camera are pictures of the nursery in progress. Over the Christmas break I started working on the furniture. I have a crib, dresser and a bookshelf but they are mismatched. I've gotten them sanded (yes, I wore a mask) and the dresser and bookshelf have been primed and painted but the bookshelf needs another coat or two. The crib I am hoping to tackle this weekend. It's a three day weekend for me so we'll see how much motivation and energy I have. I'll post pictures soon.

I started a pre-natal yoga class this past weekend with a friend from work. She is having twins and is due at the end of July. It was a nice class and I think I can do some of the poses/stretches at home as well.

I'm pretty sure I felt the baby move Sunday night. I was laying on the couch, using the computer and felt a little flutter. I kind of felt like a bubble was popping or that a goldfish was swimming around in there. I felt it again yesterday at work. I was watching Lost on my computer at work (thank you Netflix!) and felt it. The baby has good taste.

I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday morning and will be getting an ultrasound as well. I can't believe I've made it to 20 weeks. It still hasn't quite hit me that we are having a baby. This time next year I will have a 7 or 8 month old. Wow. Really?