Sunday, April 25, 2010


It's my favorite word.

Bills? I'll pay them tomorrow.

Foster care paperwork in the mail? I'll send it tomorrow.

Laundry? I'll do it tomorrow.

Grocery shopping? Tomorrow.

Update my blog? I'll get to it tomorrow.

But when tomorrow comes, my favorite word rears it's ugly head. I'll do it tomorrow. I just can't seem to get my ass in gear to get things done TODAY. I want to. I have the intent to. It just never happens.

A few months ago I called my previous OB/GYN to have my medical records transferred to my current OB/GYN so that she would have all the test results and could call my insurance to get an authorization to see a fertility specialist. This was back in January/February. All I had to do was pay the $31.52 online and the records would be sent. Simple, right? I just paid it this past week. It took me 2 months to pay it. Not because I didn't have the money or that I didn't want to do it, I just kept putting it off. I don't know why. Well, it's paid now and I'm just waiting for the records to be sent so that we can finally get this ball rolling again.

I can't believe it's been over a year since my miscarriage. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it or think that I should have a baby now. A baby who would be turning one in September. A baby that just wasn't meant to be.


jill said...

Oh boy do I have the same problem. I get so frustrated with myself.

Do you know what your next steps will be when you finally get the ball rolling again?

hollyli said...

:-) I am glad you got the ball rolling. You deserve such happiness in your life. ((HUGS))

Yo said...

Glad you're getting things going. You probably didn't do it because you still needed time to heal. Miscarriages are hard, and you never forget. Be good to yourself no matter what. Sending you love!