Your estimated wait time....5 weeks.

I finally had a follow up phone call with my doctor to discuss the possibility of doing an IUI. He said he wanted to do IVF because it was more controlled (less likely to have multiples) and because once they do the sperm wash he was afraid there would be none left. I said I am not going into it with extremely high hopes but I wanted to at least try it because it was more affordable (my insurance covers 50%). He was ok with that. I was told that the next step was to call on day one of my next cycle. I got off the phone finally feeling like we were moving forward. I was excited.

My nurse called and left a message later that day letting me know what the protocol would be and that I should call the financial lady to find out what my cost would be. I decided to do that today. Come to find out it takes up to 4 weeks to get authorization from my insurance.

Well that just sucks. Big time.

I was all excited to get the ball rolling on this, especially since my period should be here in a week or so. Damn. On the up side, it gives us a little more time to set aside the money for this and I can get done everything I wanted to get done before the procedure like getting my highlights done and finishing a tattoo that I started 3 years ago. Nothing terribly important, but stuff I won't be able to do while pregnant. Now I have a little more time to do it.

Gotta look on the bright side, right?

Decisions, Decisions

Our follow up appointment was this morning. It was devestational to say the least. We walked out of there feeling completely hopeless. How in the hell can we ever afford this? IVF with ICSI will cost $11,000. But that doesn't include medication. And medication starts at $4,500.

Yes, starts at.

It could cost as much as $7,500. So we are talking about paying almost $20,000. We don't have $11,000, much less $20,000. And of course, my insurance (or my husband's) doesn't cover a dime. There are a few options for us though.

They have a shared help thingy (I think it's kind of like a scholarship/grant type thing) but I have to see if we qualify. We might make too much money. But with Courtney being laid off for 6 months last year we may qualify after all. That could help out from 10%-50%. Plus they offer financing. My parents, Courtney's mom, and my aunt have all offered to help out financially and as much as I HATE to ask for money from anyone, we may have to do just that. Even if it isn't enough for the entire procedure, we could always finance the rest. Plus, I've been looking into other types of financing online that is specific to IVF.

Dammit, we will find a way.

I forgot to ask about the possibility of doing an IUI. I called on my lunch break and left a message with my nurse about doing it but haven't heard back yet. I think we may try to increase Courtney's sperm count with accupuncture, vitamins and diet/exercise and then try an IUI in a few months. I've also brought up adoption. The cost may end up being the same as IVF but with IVF if it doesn't work then we are out all that money with nothing to show for it. With adoption we may have to wait longer but in the end we will have a child. Ugh. So many things to consider.

Verdict

We have been sentenced to IVF.

I called my nurse yesterday morning to see if my second bloodwork and my husband's semen analysis results had come in. They had. My bloodwork was fine and was given the OK to go ahead with a pregnancy but my husband's semen analysis was not good. Low count, low motility and only 3% were formed correctly. The doctor had made a note that IVF was recommended. We go back for another follow up appointment on Tuesday July 6th at 8:00 am. I'm guessing we'll discuss what the steps are for IVF and what to expect.

All I know is that we can't afford it. They do offer financing but even with that comes monthly payments which would really stretch our already limited funds. On a happier note, I got a promotion at work. I am now the Assistant Director. I don't know what the new pay is but I know it's not going to be too much more than what I'm making now. I am still working my part time job at the baby superstore and I'm hoping to use my paycheck from there (which is really just extra money to put towards bills or to get my hair or nails done) and save it to put towards the IVF since my insurance doesn't cover any of it. Hopefully our appointment on the 6th will ease some of our stress about money. Probably not but a girl can hope, can't she?

Losing weight

I've lost some weight recently.

Not so much weight off my belly or thighs (although I did lose some off my belly and thighs, too) but off my shoulders.

It's been a whirlwind of doctor's appointments lately but I had the best one yesterday. I went to see a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist to discuss my diabetes and how it would/could affect pregnancy. During my appointment the nurse mentioned that she believes that my insurance now covers continuous glucose monitors. I seriously wanted to hug this woman. I had checked with my insurance before about this and at that point they didn't cover it. I was over the moon estatic hearing this news. She said that she would call the Medtronic rep and take care of everything for me and that I should hear something by today.

I just got off the phone with a lady from Medtronic and I am 100% covered! I'm so giddy I can't even contain myself! I get a new insulin pump and the continuous glucose monitor is built into it. I just need to wear a sensor on my stomach. I had a choice of 5 colors: clear, blue, smoke, purple (which I have currently) and pink. I chose pink. They just have to obtain authorization from my insurance and then it will be mailed to me. I'll have to get some training on how to use it but it shouldn't be too hard. ]

This is what it looks like (except it will be bubble gum pink!):

This little device will be such a weight off my shoulders. When (notice how I used when and not if) I get pregnant again I will feel more confident about my control. This is perfect timing because it looks as if we will be going to be doing an IUI next cycle.

I had my initial visit with the RE and then went in for my Day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound this past Saturday. I had a mock embryo transfer (to measure the angle and depth of my cervix and uterus and the thickness of my uterine lining) today as well as some more bloodwork because my prolactin was a little elevated and my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was just above normal and they really want that to be perfect. They said that they just wanted to test it again to see if it was just a fluke or if we need to address it. I'm hoping it was a fluke. But if not it shouldn't be difficult to correct. Courtney is doing his semen analysis on Friday and I believe that is the extent of our appointments for now. We just have to wait and see what the results are.

Progress

While it's not huge progress, it's still progress nonetheless.

I had my annual Ob/Gyn appointment earlier this week. I had been putting it off. At my last appointment after my miscarriage my doctor said that I wouldn't need to come back until my annual exam or hopefully sooner if I got pregnant. I was really hoping it would be sooner. No such luck.

The exam went fine and then we discussed some options regarding infertility. I mentioned that we wanted to go back to the RE but needed to have her call my insurance to get an authorization. I had paid $32 to have all my records sent to this new office and just needed for them to call...at least that is what I was told by my insurance company.

Long story short, I didn't need to do anything to go back to the RE. I only need authorization for treatment, not diagnosis. So we go back for a long overdue follow up appointment on June 3rd. I'm sure we will have to repeat a few tests since it's been a year and a half since our initial consultation.

My Ob/Gyn wants me to see a maternal fetal specialist to discuss my diabetes and how it might affect my pregnancy. I haven't set up that appointment yet but will probably wait until after the RE appointment. I believe that they had referred me to the same place so I wanted to double check at our appointment on June 3rd.

On the foster care front, we've basically just put that on hold for now. As selfish as it sounds, I really want a child of my own. I do. Eventually we want to do foster care but for our first child we want it to be a little piece of each of us.

So, finally I feel we are on our way.

Tomorrow...

It's my favorite word.

Bills? I'll pay them tomorrow.

Foster care paperwork in the mail? I'll send it tomorrow.

Laundry? I'll do it tomorrow.

Grocery shopping? Tomorrow.

Update my blog? I'll get to it tomorrow.

But when tomorrow comes, my favorite word rears it's ugly head. I'll do it tomorrow. I just can't seem to get my ass in gear to get things done TODAY. I want to. I have the intent to. It just never happens.

A few months ago I called my previous OB/GYN to have my medical records transferred to my current OB/GYN so that she would have all the test results and could call my insurance to get an authorization to see a fertility specialist. This was back in January/February. All I had to do was pay the $31.52 online and the records would be sent. Simple, right? I just paid it this past week. It took me 2 months to pay it. Not because I didn't have the money or that I didn't want to do it, I just kept putting it off. I don't know why. Well, it's paid now and I'm just waiting for the records to be sent so that we can finally get this ball rolling again.

I can't believe it's been over a year since my miscarriage. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it or think that I should have a baby now. A baby who would be turning one in September. A baby that just wasn't meant to be.

Now that's a lot of snow!

If you haven't heard, the east coast got hit with quite a bit of snow. Where I am at in Maryland we got over 2 feet. I was all prepared for a weekend (and maybe an extra day or two if my work was closed) being snowed in. I went to the store and stocked up on the necesseties (Fritos, Diet Cherry Pepsi, toilet paper, etc) and with the Superbowl on Sunday it was going to be a nice weekend in.

This is where it gets good. Or not so good I guess.

On Friday night my husband and I got into a fight and I throw the remote at him. Well, he's standing by the television. I have terrible aim. I hit the television.

Wonderful.

It works but there is a huge crack like thing in the middle of the screen. And from the research I've done online it looks like it would cost more to fix it than to replace it (it's an LCD HDtv) so we decided to buy a new one. Normally we would just go to the store the next day and buy a new one. But there is over 2 feet of snow outside and no plows in sight. Plus, I don't think Best Buy was open anyway.

This is a view of our street. I put a bunch of pictures from the strom on my other blog.

Which brings us to today. My husband shoveled out our street so that we could get to Best Buy to buy a new television. Which we did. And now we are ready for the Superbowl. And I'm letting him hold the remote.